Finally, exhale.

Thank God, thank God, thank God!

I don't think I've felt this relieved since I had a really bad bout of indigestion and couldn't, you know, do a "movement". It is amazing how quickly things can turn sour, but what is really astonishing is the way it can just as quickly turn sweet again.

This time last week me and Anthony had just gotten back from a trip to Noosa. We had the best time and I thought we were closer than ever. The following day all hell broke loose and I've been hiding in a cave of blankets and tissues ever since; trying to find something to live for. After finally realising that throughout my relationships in my past, I have always had this cheeky side where I seem to put down my partner. I don't even know I'm doing it and the only reason I can think of is it's my heart's own defence mechanism. Here I am thinking I am so open and loving. No, I was all wrong. I can be loving but unintentionally put my man down without even knowing I'm doing it. Like, bringing their notch down so they don't hurt me- or think they're hurting me. I've discovered one thing with love that I know is fact.

Ladies want love.
Guys want respect.
And girls tend to give out love to their man the way they want it in return. However, they should be showing the respect and admiration for their partner and in turn he will show you love.
Same to the boys, they show us respect instead of being all lovey dovey which is exactly how we want them to be.

So it's a circle, and really no one is right or wrong unless they're doing the latter.

I was loving my man, but not respecting him.
He was loving me how he should- and therefore I was the weak link in the circle of lovin'.

I couldn't wait any longer this afternoon, I had to tell Anthony my realisation and apologise my arse off and make my promises to be a better girlfriend. I know I can be because he is worth it, he is my life and I don't want that to ever change.

I told him and he said thank-you and he still feels the same about me.
But I had to wait a whole three hours to talk properly about it as he had class. We spoke just before and he said he appreciated that and is really positive about things to come. Yay, we seemed normal again. We seemed like us.

I'm so happy.
I can't wait to see him tomorrow and hold him in my arms.
He's not frigin going anywhere, not now, not ever.

Exhale.
Goodnight.