Trying to end what you don't want to end.

Anthony and I started talking and hanging out. Eventually one thing led to another and we spent some "moments" together. No one can really pin-point what we have been the last couple of weeks as we have only kissed on a couple of occasions but we did spend mostly every day together.

I was doing fine, I was being strong and for the first time in a few months he was chasing after me. But of course, the stupid hopeless romantic I am weakened and let my vunerability get taken advantage of.

I don't know when we turned shit, or maybe we always were and the sheer blinding sheets of finding someone new was heavily blanketed over our eyes. Perhaps we were too nieve to think it was actually real, that love at first sight could exist.

Maybe I have been so desperate to find "the one" and live happily ever after, that my poor judgment has resulted in my pathetic string of heartbreak.

I'm starting to wonder if I will ever be loved, unconditionally, like I have given and given in the past and yet never received.

What do I do?

It's doing my head in and every time this happens, my heart falls apart. I fall apart.