Wednesday Reflections.

Since I last wrote, Anthony and I sorted everything out; as we always do. You see we have the fundementals for a great relationship- loyalty, honesty, great communication, fun and lots and lots of love and respect. However it has been a hard relationship because I am not happy in my current life situation but at the end of the day I know sticking around for Anthony will make me the happiest girl in the long run. Although we sorted everything out and ended up having a wonderful weekend which consisted of us celebrating our six months... last night we again had another fight. Guess what about? My unhappiness here.

We used to fight once a month, which I didn't mind because fighting is healthy. Then it became more often, once a fortnight, now it seems once a week if not more. We both lay there fighting, saying we love eachother. It just doesn't make sense.

I know for a fact everything will be better when I get out of this life trapping place I know as Innisfuck. He doesn't see this or understand (as much as he tries), he thinks it will just be the same if we moved. I get angry to think he can be that stubborn, I'm not an idiot, I know what I want, I know what will make happy so just listen?

I am going to try shutting my mouth and not letting him know when I'm upset or something is bothering me. He doesn't want that because we are so open with each other, but I just don't know what else to do. Every time we fight now it is hurting more and more and it feels like we should seperate but it is the last thing either of us want to do. I wish I could use my own wisdom and advice I share with everyone to help myself, but I'm clueless.