An Ode to Paper.

Paper, my old friend
You're the only one I have trusted
After all these years.
The amount of times I've turned to you
To vent my emotions, trauma; fears.
If only you could hug me
And tell me everything will be alright.
You were always good at listening
So here I am, once again; tonight.
Today I broke in two and remembered
How dark it is when the sky is grey.
Today I realised it's been eleven years now
Of feeling unloved and out of place.
A battle I've surely let effect me
Throughout my unstable life.
Here and now I'd rather give in
And try elsewhere,
Just for the chance to get it right.
Paper, guide me straight
Guide me true
Because honestly
I've never loved anyone
As much as I have ever loved you.
Only you can tell me,
Will I ever know a day without tears?
Promise me I'll grow old
And chuckle at what seems to be
My "depressed" years.
Paper, my old friend
Only you know what lies ahead
As only you know who I really am.
I'll forever be grateful that you have stayed
Exactly the way you are and the way
I've needed you to be.
Farewell dear paper,
All my love, sincerely-
Me.

Reflections.

It has been a week since "it" happened.

I still haven't spoken to my parents, although Mum decided to randomly text Anthony late Friday night asking him where he was. Awkward. I haven't been called back about jobs, but I have applied for some in Cairns and spoken to Centrelink about bludging from tax payers. I am still feeling as lost as ever but I'm not as depressed. Probably because Anthony and I are returning our relationship back to where it makes both of us really happy and when things are fine with him; life is always bearable.

I'm going to end this here because I feel if I delve too deply, I may get to that point where I feel helpless again. Things are looking up and my situation isn't as bad as many others in the world.

At the end of the day, I know God has everything planned out for me. I'm not a very religious person but that is something I do believe in whole heartedly.